Angels I Have Heard on High

Working in the hotel industry, I come into contact and have the opportunity to work with amazing people/groups. There is always one that leaves a lasting impression. I had the privilege of working with a Minister and his congregation for an International Congress. There is no coincidence that I was assigned this event. I was meant to meet Shane and his wife. After numerous months of phone calls, emails and pre-planning visits, they finally arrived into Jacksonville. Each evening they would worship and I was asked to be a part of their Civic ceremony. I agreed not even knowing what it entailed; the client asked so therefore it wasn't a tough decision. I was told to greet people as they entered the ballroom and I did. I was asked to join them and I did, sitting in the first row. As Shane is preaching and praying the word of God, he starts to speak about me; how I am a blessing to him and this meeting. I am a beautiful soul with a strong testimony. With that, the congregation stands up and applauds me as I am escorted onto the stage. Whoa...back it up. I was never asked to go on stage but there is nothing I can do now-I am standing before hundreds of people. I am given the microphone and the first words out of my mouth are: "Hi y'all." Where did that come from? I swore I would never utter those words and here I am saying it for the first time. I thanked them for choosing the Hyatt and told them the hotel took on a different aura since they arrived. Their generosity and appreciativeness was contagious and it was evident they were genuinely happy to be there. I continued my speech by sharing my cancer journey and the audience erupted in applause and the entire congregation stood, extended their hands and prayed over me. For hundreds of complete strangers to embrace me, regardless of my color or faith, was a moment in time that literally took my breath away and one I will never forget. The next two days, the Congregants came up to me in the halls, hugged me and thanked me for sharing my story, telling me what an inspiration I am and how I touched their lives. I believe I am a walking miracle and that God is ever present in my life. I am truly blessed and after that holy experience, all I can say is "Amen."

River Run 2011

March 12th was the 34th Annual River Run; my second year participating in the 15K. My goal was to beat my time from last year (1:59:55). Having worked sixteen hours the day before the race, I wasn’t sure what shape I would be in. There were an estimated twenty thousand runners and it felt that way up until mile two when the road finally opened up allowing us to reach our stride. It was a glorious, sunny day and despite moments along the route when I was questioning why I was torturing myself, I ran and ran and hit those mile markers knowing it was one down and one closer to the finish line. The exhilaration you feel when you finally see it is beyond words and that moment in time makes those out-of-breath and ready-to-quit moments make it all worth it. My goal was achieved; I crossed in 1:51:28 (a decent pace of 12 minutes per mile). Overall I was 10,597th of 14,922 runners, 4,561st of 7,596 female runners, and 805th place out of 1,234 females in the 30-34 age bracket. Immediately following my running the 9.3 miles, I went to work and put in a full day. What dedication! My client and colleagues were able to see me in my sweaty after-glow and the much deserved medal that dangled around my neck. It was quite a day and a blessing I had the strength to stamina to run that distance despite all my body had gone through. Even my sore muscles were a gift from God and a reminder that I was alive and well.

Happy 2011

There were a few blessings that added some sunshine to an otherwise cloudy 2010: new friendships and a fabulous job. I ended 2010 running in a 5K and crossing the finish line into a new year, hopefully one full of health and happiness. Here are some exciting events that are already showing promise for a great year. March: 15K Gate River Run: STRENGTH June: Celebrating my 35th on a cruise to Bermuda with my amazing family: BLESSING August: Cousin's long-awaited wedding: MIRACULOUS September: 6th Annual John G. Rampolla Golf Outing: HONOR November: Running 26.2 miles at the NYC Marathon alongside my oncologist: EXTRAORDINARY December: Cancer2 submitted to an editor; 1st step towards publication: HOPEFUL Being alive to partake in these events: PRICELESS

2010: A Year in Review

2010 was the start to a new decade; one which was supposed to be full of wonderful surprises and new starts. Instead, it was a year full of extreme highs and lows, and another year I was happy to say goodbye to. It started off with promise but slowly turned into a year full of sadness, heartache, medical scares and a complete change of direction in life. Each of these scenarios were one in which I had no choice but to accept and move on, which was no easy task. Having loved and lost in one ways than one, there are no answers as to why life is so unfair. How do you explain two dear friends, one 28 and one in her 50's, losing their battles to ovarian cancer within four months of each other? Why does a man who professes his love to you and tell you he's going to marry you, end up cheating? Why do you go for a routine check-up and end up going in for an MRI to make sure that there are no "undiscovered" tumors in your already scar-ridden body, once again holding your breath until you get the test results? Why was the economy in such a state that I wasn't able to continue doing what I loved most? Why does the person I truly believe I'm meant to be with live in another state? Why does your football team, who shows promise all season and is a shoe-in for the playoffs, blow it by playing poorly, ending their season too soon? OK, so that isn't a life tragedy but one that just added to my misery! Why weren't my prayers for happiness being heard? What else did I have to do to ensure my happily ever after? I've been told, for the past 5 years, "This is your year; I just know it." Well, 2010 wasn't it, nor were the five years prior. There is always 2011...let's hope this is the year that I can finally proclaim, "You're right!"

Quotables

It seems lately my life is full of cliches and quotables, two things I hate to utter, but are so apropos that it seemed appropriate to write about them. Everything happens for a reason. This one seems to be my mantra in life. Some people get a lifetime pass and never have to endure disappointments or heartache. Others, like myself, got more than my fair share--much more. There is an old cliché: God doesn’t give you more than you can handle. I will tell you that He has definitely tested me. There is no other explanation for all that has happened to me these past few years. From being diagnosed with cancer, losing dear friends to the same disease, and having to overcome life's challenges on both a personal and professional level, I had to believe that whatever was meant to be would be. I believed I was on the road to my happily-ever-after. I was finally seeing a ray of sunshine after so many years living under a black cloud. With an overnight change of heart, my boyfriend decided he had a new life and didn't see me as a part of it. The translation was: he cheated and broke it off so he could start a new relationship with her. Once a cheater, always a cheater. I shouldn't have been surprised he would do it again; I just never imagined I would be on the receiving end of it. I'm not sure what fool stated, "It’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." I struggle with the reason he entered my life and what purpose he/it served. It may take time or I may never know the answer, but I had comfort in the fact that my broken heart would heal and I would survive! A wise friend said it best: "Never make someone a priority in your life when all you are to them is just an option." It is what it is. Life goes on. There were bigger and better things for me and I was excited to see what those would be. I have turned the page in my book and I look forward to a new chapter in my life.

Denise Eschmann

Two years ago I met Denise at a Relay for Life meeting. I noticed her from across the room because she had very short hair and I wondered if that was a re-growth due to chemo treatments. As we went around the room, she introduced herself and shared she was an ovarian cancer survivor. I went up to her after the meeting and we shared our stories. She was telling me different things about her oncologist and how he was different from other doctors she had. He gave her a kiss on the cheek and would hug her when given good news. The story was all too familiar and I asked her who her oncologist was and lo and behold, it was Dr. Matthews. I informed her of my crush and that he was mine so she was to keep her hands off! Denise was happily married and didn’t look at him the same way I did so there was no competition. It became a joke between us. I would always ask her when she was going to see my “boyfriend” and we would compare notes about our appointments, the staff, etc. We were forever bonded, in more ways than one. Sadly, Denise's health declined rapidly. She was given a powerful dose of chemo which just about killed her. Her body was unable to tolerate it and there were no other options. The cancer had metastasized, producing seven new tumors, all located in difficult areas, decreasing her ability to breath, among other things. Her body was breaking down, succumbing to the dreaded disease and on 9/17 she lost her battle. The night before she died, accompanied by her friends and family, The American Cancer Society presented her with an award of bravery. She was weak but still had that sparkle in her eye. She was a fighter through and through and never once felt sorry for herself. She was truly a gem and one that will never be forgotten. Losing two friends within four months of each other, to the same disease, has been more than one can accept. The only comfort is that they are no longer suffering and are among the angels. Rest in peace my friends for your wings will always surround us with your love and your halo will shine brightly, today and always.

Sarah Morton

There are no words to express how saddened and devastated I am of my friend's passing who lost her life at the age of 28 to Ovarian cancer on May 13, 2010. We were introduced back in November 2008 by a mutual doctor at Memorial Sloan Kettering. We immediately connected; a bond that no one else can have unless you have also experienced cancer (and at such a young age). We would laugh and cry and share stories of what was going on in our life both medically and personally. In July 2009, we attended the Ovarian Cancer National Alliance conference in Washington D.C. She picked me up at the airport and that was the first time we had met after speaking on the phone for 8 months. We spent the next few days together; sharing a room and attending the sessions together. It was like we had known each other our entire lives. I then went to her hometown of Roxboro, NC in September to celebrate her Relay For Life event. I met her boyfriend, her family, her students and co-workers and what seemed like the entire town of Roxboro. What an amazing town and one that is so unbelievably supportive to not only Sarah but to the cause. The next day we participated in an Ovarian walk. I was one of 30+ people who were there to support Sarah (everyone wore a "Sarah's sisters" shirt). I felt so blessed to have been a part of it and I will forever remember those memories. I will cherish our friendship and she certainly left her footprints on my heart and in my soul. She certainly has an incredible view from where she is. I know her halo will always shine brightly and her teal wings will constantly surround us with her love.